I'm certainly not referring to my children. Or even the dogs. I'm not even referring to the many gangs, screaming children, and constantly barking dogs that take up residence in and around this neighborhood. I'm talking about the fleas, cockroaches, and newly discovered mice that are sharing this rental house with us. When we discovered the "droppings" that confirmed for us that cockroaches aren't our biggest concern anymore, I finally cried.
The last time I cried I was hugging my best friend goodbye.
When we first decided to take this job at The Crossing, Derek told me to be prepared for it to be hard. Not just packing-up-and-moving-halfway-across-the-country hard, but really hard. Whether it's been God throwing the curve balls or God allowing Satan to throw a few, Derek was definitely right.
I am so grateful that nothing catastrophic or tragic has happened. I find myself constantly thanking God for that. It seems He reminds me of that whenever I try to focus on the little things, like cockroaches. We're together, safe, and healthy so far and that is more blessing than we deserve!
But it's still been hard. Emotionally and much more so financially. We took this job on faith that God would provide another job on top of it. This job, as it seems with way too many ministry jobs, simply does not cover the bills. And this job, like most ministry jobs, involves a lot of unpaid after hours investment. We have no idea what God is going to do to cover the bills. We're a little nervous about when He will. But we're still a little excited to see how God's gonna do it. I can only imagine! While we know God will provide, we are still expected to pray. And pray we are. Not only for provision, but also patience and faith while we wait for it.
Today, in particular, was a strangely emotional day for me. I've missed home (the Scranton one) like crazy since we've moved. But I worked really hard to sort of detach myself from the pain of it. I started working on that the day we told our best friends we were leaving. It's been 6 weeks since I hugged and cried with Stacey. I think today was the first time I felt that sting since then. And the weirdest thing brought it on. Someone we were talking to today mentioned a friend named Dustin. I wanted to ask if it was the Dustin that I know that works at Riverfront. (This was definitely not the first time I completely forgot we weren't in PA anymore). Before that thought finished crossing my mind, I was stung with that ache for home. Dustin? Really? I hardly know the guy. But he's the only Dustin I know and he lives in Scranton, works at Riverfront, and was a part - a minuscule part, but a part - of our lives there.
All that being said, I know we're supposed to be here. By here I mean Indiana. I'm not so sure we're supposed to be here in this house. Or maybe it's just the pests that aren't supposed to be here in this house! Anyway, I know we're supposed to have made this move to Indiana and taken this job. God confirms it regularly. I'm just missing Scranton. If only we could have the best of both worlds... which would include that tall blue house on the corner of 5th and Emmett... No pests live there!