The Story of Us

Recently I found a story I wrote for our kids. It's the story of "DandL" that I wrote long before any little noodle bearing our resemblances was in existence. Realizing that the only copy of this written story could get lost someday, I'm going to share it here. But not just for that reason.

Today marks 17 years (!!) since the day Derek asked me to be his girlfriend, clarifying that he meant to ask me to be his wife when the time was right. When I told him yes, I was saying yes to forever. I had no idea the actual weight of that "yes," although I suspected it had a good amount of it. And I'm glad I didn't know. Because traversing this crazy life together with the Holy Spirit as our ultimate guide is so much sweeter. The things I would've changed had I known ahead of time would have ruined everything. Thank You, Jesus, for Your higher ways!

Without further ado (or any editing)...

The Story of Us

Once upon a time there was a wide-eyed, long-haired girl and a blonde haired, runny-nosed boy. The boy and the girl were neighbors in a place called Indiana. The boy and the girl were friends and spent their days riding big wheels and playing in the sandbox with the rest of the neighborhood boys and girls. Sometimes the boy would chase the girl all around her yard and try to steal a kiss.

1989

One terrible day, the boy's parents packed up a huge truck and took the boy far away to a place called Pennsylvania. The girl was very sad.

While the boy was in the far away place called Pennsylvania, he went to a sports camp. (This boy is very good at sports.) While at this camp he talked to an adult about Jesus Christ. The adult told him that Jesus died to take away the boy's sins and if the boy gave his life to Jesus, he would get to go to Heaven someday. So the boy prayed to Jesus with the help of the adult and from that day on began to live his life for Jesus.

Meanwhile, the girl who still lived in the place called Indiana was also learning about Jesus at church and at school. One day a few years down the road, the girl also went to a camp. (This was not a sports camp. The girl is not very good at sports.) At this camp the girl learned that she was not a very good girl and that she did not deserve to go to Heaven someday. So the girl bowed her head by herself and told Jesus she was sorry and asked Him to forgive her. Jesus did forgive her and so the girl began to live her life for Jesus.

So the boy and the girl, while very far away from each other, grew up learning more and more about Jesus and loving Him more every day. They learned more about Him by reading their Bible and going to church. They talked to Him through prayer. They showed Him they love Him by helping at church and telling their friends about Him.

The boy and the girl only saw each other a couple of times over the next 15 years! But after those fifteen years, the boy was passing through the place called Indiana with his family. He and the girl were all grown up now. They were already out of high school! They talked for a little bit, and because they were old enough, they started to like each other! Sadly, the boy had to leave again for his place called Pennsylvania.

The boy could not stop thinking about the girl so he nervously picked up the phone and called the girl's dad. He asked him if he could take the girl on a date. The girl's dad liked the boy so he said yes. Then the boy picked up the phone again, even more nervous this time, and called the girl. He asked her to go on a date with him and she said yes!

First date at the BBC banquet: 2003

So the girl drove many hours to the far away place called Pennsylvania to go on a date with the boy. She liked the boy very much. They talked about what they had been doing all those years that they were apart and learned all about how they both gave their lives to Jesus and were still living for Him.

A little while later the boy got on a place and flew way up in the sky all the way to the place called Indiana. He took the girl up to the top of a huge mountain made of sand. The boy and the girl sat down on the top of the mountain and the boy asked the girl for forever. The girl prayed and asked God if she should say yes as the boy awaited her answer. Then the girl said yes because she knew Jesus wanted them together!

July 13, 2003: The day on top of the dunes.

So the girl packed up her things and moved all the way to the far away place called Pennsylvania. Together, the boy and the girl learned more about Jesus at school and they showed Jesus that they both loved Him by helping at church together. They grew closer to Jesus and closer to each other.

Baptist Bible College 2003ish

Finally, one cool spring morning, the boy and the girl went to church as usual, but this Sunday was a very special Sunday. The boy got up in front of the whole church and then went down on one knee. He asked the girl for forever, but this time he gave her a diamond ring as a promise! She said yes!

May 1, 2005

Two days before Christmas, your mommy and daddy got married. They told all of their friends and family that they were going to stay together for as long as they lived and they were going to spend their whole lives showing Jesus that they love Him. And they lived, and continue to live, happily ever after.

December 23, 2005

So that boy and that girl want you to know all about Jesus and how He should be your whole life. Through the Bible, He tells you everything you need to know about how to live for Him. And when you give your life to Him, He puts together your love story and so someday when you are much, much older, you can tell your children a story very much like this one.

2020

Date Night: October Edition

Derek recently coordinated some date night babysitting exchange with my brother and SIL. They live just minutes from us now so it's super easy! And we only have to watch two kids when they go out ;)

My favorite place to go (because it's free!) is the Mishawaka Riverwalk. It's so beautiful and peaceful. I love not feeling rushed, but just moseying along, admiring all the things. Derek always talks about when he and his Xtreme crew knocked out a bunch of trees blocking the view of the river while he convinced the mayor to keep a select few. The rest of the time I usually go on musing about everything under the sun and Derek quietly and patently listens in the loving way he always does. We're so good for each other.

Just off the Riverwalk is Smokestack Brew, which is delish so we dined then walked some more. Nothing fancy, just time together. 

There have been a lot of broken marriages coming to the surface lately. People that have been together much longer than D and I have. People who's weddings we went to. People we never thought would fall apart. It's been a painful reminder of how fragile marriage really is. 

It's also a reminder that it is a slow fade. We don't fall apart overnight. We fall apart over time. It's one tiny decision after another until one day we realize we're miles apart and getting back to each other will take nothing short of a miracle. And usually at that point, we don't really want that miracle.

I can't help but PRAISE THE LORD that He has stationed angels to guard our marriage. Yes, it takes effort on our part. And yes, we fail and we drift and we have stupidity tendencies. But in the end, it's JESUS who holds us together. That in itself is an utter miracle and a blessing at which I pray we never turn up our noses. 

Love is Not a Fight

Warren Barfield

Love is not a place

To come and go as we please

It's a house we enter in

And then commit

To never leave

So lock the door behind you

Throw away the key

We'll work it out together

Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter

In a raging storm

Love is peace

In the middle of a war

If we try to leave

May God send angels

To guard the door

No, love is not a fight

But it's something worth fighting for

To some love is a word

That they can fall into

But when they're falling out

Keeping their word is hard to do

Love will come to save us

If we'll only call

He will ask nothing from us

But demand we give our all

Love is a shelter

In a raging storm

Love is peace

In the middle of a war

If we try to leave

May God send angels

To guard the door

No, love is not a fight

But it?s something worth fighting for

I will fight for you

Would you fight for me?

It's worth fighting for

Date Night - March Edition

In March, we finally attended a banquet that we've been wanting to attend for years. Of course we almost completely forgot about it, and thankfully my wonderful SIL and unsuspecting brother were available as last minute babysitters.

Yay for living so much closer now! And for wonderful family. I really have the very best.

We went to the RETA banquet where we had the privilege of listening to Davey Blackburn share his story and a powerful message about the importance of fathers. We also enjoyed some super delicious dinner and a little bit of fellowship with strangers and old friends.

RETA - Reason Enough To Act - has always held a special place in our hearts. Derek used to work part time there as a mentor to fathers. While he worked there, I got to help share some in parenting classes. The founder, Roxana, is an excellent employer, but even more so a wonderful human being. We're privileged to know her.

They're literally walking distance away from Planned Parenthood. The only reason to ever darken the door of Planned Parenthood instead of RETA is to get an abortion (I just censored myself there...) At RETA, you can get a free ultrasound (including a mobile unit), free pregnancy test, and access to Fairhaven OBGYNs. Not only that, there's biblical counseling for those who are recovering from an abortion, coaching and classes for parents, and a store loaded with necessities for new parents that can be earned through the classes. Oh, and if you're looking for someone to teach the real sex ed, RETA's got that too!

All that to say, our March date was at this banquet. And we think you all should get to know RETA and support this incredible ministry in whatever way God calls you!

Of course we didn't take any pictures so here's an adorable picture of my girls from March. They're so stinkin beautiful.

Date Night - January Edition

Every year we resolve to go on monthly dates. And every year we go on about 4 total. One for Derek's birthday, one for my birthday, one for our anniversary, and a random one at some point in the year because we have amazing people who offer to watch our kids.

This year we've decided to be more disciplined and intentional. Derek is on a scheduling mission, making sure every last thing gets put in the calendar so that it is sure to happen. We've already gone on a date this year!

On our first date of the year I had the fantastic idea of blogging about each of our dates as sort of an accountability thing. And because it's fun.

This month's date had a title I cleverly came up with because it just randomly came to me. I called it, "Kohl's and Goals Date Night."

The evening started with dropping the kids at the parents and heading to Wings. Maybe since we're going to go on 12 dates, we'll venture to some place other than Wings or Penn Station. But probably not often because those are our FAVES. Suggestions are welcome, though!

While enjoying boneless wings and friend green beans, we discussed our goals for the year. Derek's list is a couple of miles long while mine... well it doesn't exactly exist. We had a good long talk about why I don't have goals. It's hard for my wonderful husband to understand what it's like to be a homeschooling mom of 5, and how typically "survive" is the only goal I'm capable of achieving. I didn't even realize that myself until I found that I simply couldn't come up with a list. Instead, my word this year is discipline. I want to work toward moving out of survival mode and into abundance. Only by the grace of God!

After dinner, we headed to Kohl's. We were generously gifted with a gift card to Kohl's for Christmas, and Derek was in desperate need of some shoes and work pants. It was a little weird being the one who had to sit around while Derek did the bulk of the shopping but it was certainly high time for it. I did buy a much needed belt though! And I picked out his shoes :)

Next month is Derek's birthday month so I'm thinking something a little more elaborate. Got any ideas for us??

30 Day Encouragement Challenge

I read about the 30 Day Encouragement Challenge over on this blog and was excited about jumping into it! I'm always excited about simple ways to strengthen our marriage. I thought this would be super easy but before day one was over I already slipped up. Ridiculous.

So the point is to every day purposefully be an encouragement and blessing to your husband over the next 30 days.

Here is the first day:

Day One:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12
To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:
* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"
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After reading this, I knew it was something God wants me to do because just the day before it suddenly hit me how awesome it is that Derek chose me.

It started with thinking about how huge a decision marriage is. I mean, 5.5 years ago we married with views of forever. But I feel like we're only just now beginning to grasp the hugeness of forever.

By the grace of God, we both look at forever together as exciting, wonderful, beautiful, and a dream come true.

But seriously, we were clueless then. Well I was. I think Derek had a little bit better understanding of it. And that's what makes it even more humbling and amazing that he chose me to grow old with.

Consider joining me on this challenge. Your marriage deserves it.  I know mine does.

5 Beautiful Years

December 23, 2010 will mark our 5th anniversary! I can't even believe it. It's so amazing to walk through our church decorated beautifully for the wonderful Christmas season, and remember our beautifully decorated wedding in this same church. I really had no idea we'd be back 5 years later.

I am so blessed. I mean ridiculously blessed. 5 years ago I married a man I still do not deserve. What a beautiful, wonderful, ((eventful)) day!
 

The further away we get from the Christian "bubble" we both grew up in, the more and more broken families we come across. It just breaks my heart that it is not normal to be 26 years old and still have both sets of parents together and happy. We've been learning how incredibly blessed we are to both have that. Thank you, Ma and Dad Jacobs. Thank you, Momma and Dadda Johnson.

And we've been challenged to do the same. What an amazing legacy our parents have left for us. We plan to leave the same for our children, by God's grace.

I beg of you, every single person who comes across this blog, to please do the same. Commit to your vow. Change the world, one God-glorifying marriage at a time.

I am passionate about this. And I'm SO thankful for a husband who shares that passion.

Now on to the anniversary celebration! This was us at our rehearsal dinner 5 years ago...
 

Our 1st Anniversary was probably our very favorite. We spent the weekend in DC!! It was gorgeous and historical and awesome and enlightening and fantastic and lots and lots more!
 

Our 2nd Anniversary I was almost 3 months pregnant. Our last anniversary childless. We stayed in a B&B in Windsor, Ontario and spent the day at the Science Center in Detroit. We are not fans of school, but we love to learn!
 

Our 3rd Anniversary, Marie came along. It definitely had it's stressful moments! But due to lots of snow, the B&B we stayed at in Chicago was empty. So thankfully we didn't have guests to drive crazy with a screaming baby. We did have a wonderful time, tho, going to various museums and looking at and dancing to lights! (See video below!) Oh, and Derek restored my American Girl Doll, Samantha, and took us to the American Girl Doll store in downtown Chicago! My man is good.

Our 4th Anniversary... Derek and I are trying to remember right now as I don't have any pictures of it! I remember we had Marie stay at the in-laws for the night and Derek and I made a Christmas craft then went somewhere and did something... can't remember that part... oh wait, we think we went to a movie, went to my fave PA restaurant (Thai Rak Thai), and played poker with Derek's friends where we were spoiled silly with a Wii system! (And I got second place in poker. It's all coming back to me now!)

Sadly, I don't even have a pic of the two of us together the whole month of December! We lost sight of what is most important in a family - the marriage relationship. Kids are so distracting! But in order to have a healthy and strong family, you must have a healthy and strong marriage. SO looking forward to some time away for this Anniversary! It's been so long.

Here's a memorable pic of our 4th Anniversary month...
 

I love my husband. I have been so blessed to be married to him for 5 years and his one-and-only for 7.5 years. Looking forward to 5 more decades of marital bliss!

Happy 5th Anniversary, Baber!!