The Birth of Kempton Charles

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

We came in. They cut me open.

"It's a... boy!"

Born at 11:39am. 9lbs, 4.8oz. 22 inches.

They sewed me up.

The End.

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There are definitely benefits to having csections.

There may not be much to talk about as far as events, but the emotions involved are huge. The night before my csection for Jack, I was an anxious mess. Very little sleep happened. You know that feeling of overwhelming butterflies, involuntary worry, straight up freaking out? Several days before Kempton arrived I was anticipating a night full of that.

But can I just say, there is NOTHING like having a praying family. My sibs and parents were praying for me. My church family. My Christian family. I fell asleep Monday night completely at peace. It wasn't until about 7am that I started getting anxious, but even then it only took getting out of bed to push past it.

I even did some garden harvesting before leaving the house at about 9am.

Last family of 4 photo.

 The whole experience was quite a bit different than the first two. It was much better and much worse all at the same time. The surgery took much longer, which is better in that I feel the doctor did a very quality job, but worse in that it's just plain not fun being operated on. Also, I could feel tingling in my legs the whole time which made them very antsy but there was nothing I could do about it! But I was able to move more quickly since I didn't have an insane amount of numbing. There were several times I felt very tired and needed to calm myself down so I would close my eyes. I realized quickly that I was scaring Derek. He definitely thought I had passed out at one point.

Speaking of Derek, he totally watched the whole procedure and loved it!

Gross.

So now let's talk about the whole thing about how Kempton was only 9lbs 4.8oz. Yes, many a woman has pushed out a 9 pounder. Geesh, many have gotten much bigger than that out the natural way. But, as I mentioned in this post, I decided I needed to leave the csection/vbac thing completely to the Lord. While I tried to induce labor, God and I had all sorts of conversations about the outcome. Pretty much every time I pulled into the doc office, I said, "God, this is Your thing. Don't let me get in the way of what You want. I know that You know best." Toward the end, we knew our newest addition was not as big as his older sibs but I decided if the little mister ended up 9lbs or bigger, I would be confident in the csection decision.

Thank You, God, that Kemp was at least 9 lbs!

Next, would we do the whole not-finding-out-the-gender thing again? That is a question to be answered in another post. Along with the details of the surprise that we had Kempton rather than Amber!

Patience, my friends.

I'm so in love with our newest little man and his big sibs! It's amazing how much Marie and Jack love him. It took Marie a few hours to warm up but Jack bolted to him as soon as they arrived at the hospital. "Baby mine," he likes to say.

Now they beg to hold him. Jack will wrap his arms around and not let go. Marie tells me to take good care of her brother, tells me not to cry when I cringe during nursing, gives him stuffed animals while he sleeps. It's a dream. We love being a family of 5.

 

Baby Update

I've taken miscellaneous preggo pics this pregnancy but seriously, they are not pretty. I just do not make a "cute" pregnant person. But here's a pic from 28 weeks that I shared on Facebook, so I might as well share on here. You will very likely not see another.

I had my fourth ultrasound yesterday. The third ultrasound showed strange measurements... apparently the head was measuring a little over a week smaller than the rest of the body. But yesterday's ultrasound put that to rest. Not only is this baby growing strong and healthy, it is measuring somewhere around 2 weeks further along. Surprised? Me either.

See, my due date is debatable, so it's hard to say exactly. But the doc said this baby is weighing in at 3.5 lbs. Whether I am 28 or 29 weeks, this is at least a pound heavier than average.

I also recently found out, just like with my previous babes, I do not have gestational diabetes or any risk of it, I have low blood pressure and I'm anemic (which supposedly contributes to low birth weight). Maybe this will go on the list of questions to ask God in heaven... why the huge babies?

The ultrasound tech said I have a super long cervix which I had heard before. But this lady could actually tell me something interesting... she said it puts me at very low risk of pre-term labor. In her mind that was a great thing. In mine... well sure I don't want to have this baby super early. But a little early would be nice!

And finally, my placenta has been low, which is the main reason for all the ultrasounds. It is moving up very slowly but the bottom line is, if it doesn't do some real moving, if I go into labor or not doesn't matter. A csection will be required.

Another question to add to the list... why all the csections??

I know that God's hand has been in all of it. I'm clinging to that. We desperately want at least one more baby after this one. It is very possible that after 2 sections, a vbac might be even more dangerous than a 3rd section... at least in my case with the big babes and the low placenta. Or maybe God doesn't want us to have 4.

Nope, I'm not ready to think about that.

It's been a crazy busy week. I'm tired and more hormonal than normal. But I must end this baby update on a much higher note...

Baby Amber Jade/Kempton Charles is healthy, growing, and going to be here in 10-11 weeks. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

My post csection thoughts

Baby Jacobs #3 is due in a few months. I remember so well what it was like when Jack was this age. I was desperate to have a vbac. I mean, it was literally constantly on my mind, in my prayers. I begged God on a daily basis for this gift.

Derek and I picked out a date (June 17 - 37 weeks). We prayed constantly that God would allow me to go into labor on that day and have a natural birth. Up until that day, I was confident God would answer that prayer.

Then the day came. And went. And Jack was getting bigger fast.

To answer your burning question... no, I did not have gestational diabetes with either baby. In fact, I often struggled with low blood sugar. I was also anemic during both pregnancies which supposedly contributes to low birth weight. Also, I gained significantly less weight with Jack than I did with Marie. And he was well on his way to being much larger than she was.

Every night I would think, this is the night! I will wake up to horribly painful contractions and jump for joy. Every time I felt any kind of cramping, I'd get excited and beg for them to get painful.

I drank raspberry leaf tea religiously. I sat on an exercise ball every time I was on the computer, working on jewelry, watching TV, anything. I bounced on it incessantly. I jogged. I made my food so spicy I couldn't taste it. I forced the doc to strip my membranes.

Some people used to ask why on earth I would want to go through labor when I had a flawless and minimally painful csection. The bottom line was that I felt like a failure as a mother if I couldn't birth my own children. Or at least try. Somehow I had myself convinced at a subconscious level that it was my fault that I had to have a csection with Marie. And I had to make up for it somehow. I had to give birth to Jack "the way God intended" or I was unfit to even be his mother at all.

It's nice to not be in that place anymore. God has grown me. He has opened my eyes to so many truths that have led me to be overwhelmed with thanksgiving for modern medicine.

If God hadn't given humans the capacity to come up with cesarean sections, my daughter would likely be paralyzed, or not have survived at all. And Jack would probably not exist as I may never have been able to have kids again. Having those csections was a couple of the best decisions I've ever made.

I'm also grateful Jack didn't come at 37 weeks, because when he was born at 39 weeks he was in distress and had breathing issues. One week early was almost too early. God knew exactly what He was doing.

He also knows exactly why He grows big babies in me while giving me a less-than-ideal body for birthing babes. It's annoying that I have no idea why, but He has proven Himself enough times to be more than worthy of my complete trust. 

I still pray for a vbac often. I still dream of my perfect birthing story. I mean, if I could give birth at home in a bathtub and know my baby would be safe, I would do it in a heartbeat! But I don't feel guilty anymore. I don't blame myself anymore. And I'm not frustrated that God would "curse" me so.

I have two beautiful, strong, healthy gifts from God with another growing just as strong and healthy. If God decides to allow a vbac, I will praise His name! If He decides it is best for baby and momma to have a csection, I will praise His name!

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than you ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Why I Run

5. I gotta finish what I started.

4. I'm significantly overweight and running is my favorite workout.


3. I want to be a good example for my children of being active and healthy.

2. I'm a better wife and mother when I consistently work out.

And my main motivation...

1. Our future children. 

If I were to get pregnant at this weight, I would be guaranteed another csection. I have to know that I've done everything possible to have the option of a vbac. Crossing the finish line will give me the hope and extra determination to have that elusive vbac if at all possible.

Vbac = better possibility of having more babies!

I'll take a couple more of these please...

God is Bigger

Today has been one of those days where I feel like I just cannot catch up. I didn't even cook dinner last night and somehow the dishes keep piling up! I've made a number of attempts to pick up the house (that was spotless yesterday, by the way!) and feel like nothing changes. So I gave up. We went on a nice walk this absolutely gorgeous day, and then I blew up Marie's little pool and we played in it and with the hose and the sprinkler.

I'm suddenly speechless. How do I describe how I feel about today? Let's see... if I close my eyes to the clutter, the ridiculous amount of packing left to do, the piles of laundry to put away... I can't because that is part of my life. And I can't imagine life any better! The sweet moments listening to my daughter giggle as she splashes in her tiny pool we got for a dollar at a garage sale before she was even born, are just reminders that no matter where we are, what we have, who we're with, as long as I have my little family (that is growing rapidly!) I can't imagine life any better.

It's so easy to forget that. Maybe that is why God sort of forced me to give up on the house and spend time getting some vitamin D with my favorite little Goober. I needed to remember.

On the flip side, I have a little complaining... no, expressing of concerns to do. Jack is not due until July 8. But that date really has very little relevance (other than being my Baby Girl's 2nd birthday of course!) now that we have a csections scheduled for July 1. I know even that date is still 2 weeks and 2 days away, but each day that passes, I get a little bit more anxious for this child to come on his own. At church Sunday, Dr. Mike was talking about the end times. He makes it so easy to understand, I learned a lot! Anyway, the passage was 1 Thess. 5 and in verse 3 it says, "While they are saying, 'Peace and safety!' then desctruction will come upon them suddenly like labor pains upon a woman with child, and they will not escape." Dr. Mike was commenting on how moms and dads know what that's like. My heart just sank. While it has absolutely nothing to do with the passage, all I could think about was how I'm a mom who has no idea what it's like.

Oh brother, now I'm gonna cry.

I know it's probably insane to desperately want to go into labor and feel all the pain involved. Especially after a glitch-free csection where I not only felt no pain, I felt nothing! And it was actually glorious. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not a very good mom if I can't even give birth to my own child. Or at least attempt to.

God knows my heart better than even I do, and I'm working hard to rest in His perfect plan. But I am human, I am a mom, and I long to give birth to my little.. I mean BIG... JackJack. I can't help but be jealous of all the women that I keep coming across who have lived through their ideal birthing experience. It's completely out of my hands, which is definitely a very good thing, but is also incredibly hard.

On Thursday I'll be 37 weeks. For 37 weeks (or somewhere around there), we've been praying for Jack to come on his own on this day - June 17th. Please pray with us! God's will be done! His is WAY better than mine!

35 Weeks

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant. 4 weeks from right now I will either be in the recovery room attempting to nurse my chunky son for the first time while still having no feeling in the majority of my body, or comfortably at home with my precious son and daughter, probably thoroughly stressed out and incredibly happy at the same time. (I think only mom's can truly understand that!)

We're continually praying that Jack comes on his own very soon, but we know that God's timing is perfect. In the meantime, we're attempting to encourage him to come soon any way that we can. For the past two days I've spent almost any sitting down time on my yoga ball. Come, baby, come!

Packing is coming along... very slowly. We just got back from vacation last Saturday. I'm sure I'll post about that soon. But for now, it's time to work. My goal is 6 boxes a day... I better get to work!

July 1 @ 7am - scheduled csection.
July 12 - moving day!

This is an ultrasound picture of our Jack Edward at 30 weeks.  Doesn't he look just like his daddy??