Thursday, January 21, 2010

Our Bundle #2

There's so many fears I have about Baby #2... just the thought of having 2 is a little overwhelming! And I'm uncomfortable and frustrated with my weight. So overall, the past 4 months haven't been all that thrilling to me. And while I've felt this little booger for a couple weeks now, tonight I was especially touched (no pun intended!)

Maybe I'm just really tired... no I mean I am definitely really tired. Maybe it's just the hormones added to the tiredness, but I finally felt connected to this little guy (or girl!) and so I got out my magazine and read about how he/she is growing and changing this month.

The little creature actually looks like a human! A tiny 5 inch transparent, disproportionate human! He's got ams, legs, fingers, toes, eyes, ears, mouth and nose! (I could not resist). He can hear my toddler's high pitched screams and would get annoyed - because he is his mother's child - if someone put a flashlight to his cozy little home.

Obviously many more details are being knitted and woven by God Himself physically. But it means so much to me that God Himself is softening my heart to this tiny little Babe and I'm beginning - only just beginning - to kind of understand what it's like to have equal parts love for more than one child. I'm sure I won't fully understand it until this Itty Bitty is in my arms, but I've thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse. Thank you, Lord.

I still have trouble imagining I could possibly have enough love to share when I look into this sweet face...

Poem from 'Streams in the Desert.'

Wating! Yes, patiently waiting!
Till next steps made plain will be;
To hear, with the inner hearing,
The Voice that will call for me.

Waiting! Yes, hopefully waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The Master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.

Waiting! Yes, Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The Master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.

Waiting! Yes,waiting! Still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! Still waiting!
The Master will not be late:
Since He knows that I am waiting
ForHim to unlatch the gate.

- Streams in the Desert

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Starting from Scratch

If you don't know anything about us considering moving out of PA, catch up here (Jan. 14 entry).

After Derek was offered the job that we were sure was exactly what God wanted for us, I had a sort of prophetic meltdown (for a little more explanation on my spiritual gift visit the Dec. 21 entry). While learning another side of my spiritual gift (the side where I cry), I unwittingly announced to my wonderful husband that I would be miserable if he took this job. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy... so the saying goes. In a weird twist I begged him to take the job anyway, but he's much better at knowing when God is speaking through me than I am. The next day we officially decided that God did not want us to take this job.

So we're back to square one. We don't really have any job leads. We don't really have any churches that we feel confident about at this point. But really that's like square 2. We're not even there. We don't even know if God has called us to the Elkhart area for sure. We still see it as a serious possibility, but not a definite.

Grr. I know God's ways are the best and the last place I wanna be is where God doesn't want us to be. But... grr...

We see Russia way out there... it's like we know what to do once we become missionaries. The path is crystal clear way out there. But there's this HUGE empty hole between the step we're chillin' on right now and Russia. We can see nothing. Nada. Completely blank.

I've never really been one to plan all that far ahead, but this is driving me nuts.

The only thing we know for absolute sure right now is that we need to pray with open hearts. We've been dreaming of moving back to Indiana for a couple years now. But we don't want to pray with that end in mind. We want to pray with that big, black, empty hole in mind. What does God want us to fill it with?

We are also praying that God will provide a job that is ministry related and pays 30 grand a year. (We believe in praying for specifics!) If the job isn't ministry related, we're praying that it will be a day time, week day job that will leave our schedules open to be involved in ministry in the evenings and on the weekends. We are confident God will provide this. Where and when is the question. Please pray with us!

"Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did." Gen. 6:22

Monday, January 18, 2010

Coloring with my Girl.

Today was a rough day for a number of reasons which I will expand on another time. But one of the main reasons was because my little Bug decided to give us a taste of the terrible 2's. It's amazing how defiant such a tiny creature can be! But there were a couple highlights that made the day worth it. At one point Marie and I walked around the block hand in hand. There is something so precious about holding my baby's hand and just enjoying the outside world. She had a great time. As a result, so did I!

Another highlight was when I found something to keep her *quietly* entertained.

My Doodle's doodles.

She soon lost interest and I found her removing and replacing the colored pencils.

Then I found this...

Then this...

When it was time to put them away, she was not happy. But I definitely enjoyed the few minutes of a content toddler. Just a few minutes is all I need to remember how much I absolutely adore her.

My unconditional love for this child often reminds me of the kind of love God has for me. Marie did absolutely nothing to earn the love that I can't seem to contain. Even on days like today when I wish I had a pair of earplugs, my love for her never wavers. And I don't love her, can't love her, the way God loves me. It's impossible to fathom. But I am oh so grateful.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Our Precious Creature

We have a daughter.

She's the most precious creature we've ever come in contact with...

...Especially when she's asleep.

She's beyond her years... I mean year... in independence.

She's already found a way to make money.

... I wish.

She's matchless in beauty

And style.

All sorts of styles.

She knows just how to melt our hearts.

We love our Precious Creature, Marie Love.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Your Local Church

We (Derek and I) are interested in hearing all about your church!

What church are you a member of/do you attend regularly?
Where is this church located?
Why have you chosen this church?
What are some of the ministries that you appreciate about your church?
Is your church involved in missions in any sort of capacity?
What do you love about your church?

Please answer any or all of these questions - brag a little if you'd like! We're excited to learn more about the many local churches represented by our friends!

(The above photo is of a church we visited in Russia)
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