Oh how He loves

The past couple of years... er... days have been rough with Kempton. He's always been the difficult one, but it rarely got to me because he really is so stinkin' sweet and snuggly.

But something about ruined nap times...

I get SO ANGRY.

So many regrets this week, but God did a little humbling today. Roles switched around and suddenly I'm in Kempton's shoes, and God is in mine.

But here's the huge difference: God always loves me, always lavishes grace, always shows mercy, to an extent I cannot even fathom.

This kid, who can barely keep his eyes open all morning, cannot obey the simple rule of staying in bed during nap time. He really wants to sleep. His body longs to sleep. But his sinful nature is just too overwhelming.

How many times do I let my sinful nature win out in a single day? And yet I haven't heard God scream empty words at me. I haven't seen Him throw His hands up in defeat and storm away.

Oh, how He loves me.

Disobedient me.

And this baby boy.

I love you, Sweet Shmemp. Always and forever, no matter what.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Happy 1st Birthday, Kempton Charles!

Dear Kemp Shmemp,

A whole year has already flown by and it has been the best year of our lives thus far because you have been a part of it.

August 7, 2012

You were not thrilled about being pulled out of your comfy home so close to mommy, kicking like a wild kid when the docs were invading. But shortly after you shocked us with being a boy, you began smiling and giggling. My heart melts just at the thought!

August 2012

August 2012

To this day it does not take much to get you to smile.

September 2012

September 2012

You are also very active. You are still refusing to walk because crawling is so much quicker. And you have places to go, people to pester. You do stop for electronics, though. You knew how to turn the TV on and start a movie at the wise old age of 6 months.

October 2012

October 2012

You know what you want and when you want it. Even Marie's God-given talent of negotiation doesn't work on you.

November 2012

November 2012

You have a lot in common with your big sis. You like to scream, for example. And you love to color right along side of her.

December 2012

Christmas Day 2012

 While you aren't a huge fan of sleep, you are a serious snuggler which (usually) makes up for it! You already know how to wrap your arms around my neck and squeeze. And you let me squeeze you for (almost) as long as I want!

January 2013

February 2013

March 2013

We named you after a man who committed his life to furthering God's Kingdom. He never forgot a name and remembered details about long-ago conversations. He had a passion for people. His love for the Lord was evident from the moment I met him.

March 2013

April 2013

Since you were born, I have felt strongly that you will change the world, just like your namesake. I pray every day for that to be true. I'm so excited about what God is going to do through you!

May 2013

June 2013

And I'm so grateful to get to be your momma.

July 2013

July 2013

I love you more than life, Littlest Dude.

August 2013

August 7, 2013

KJ is 6 Months Old!

On February 7th, Kempton Charles turned 6 months old.

He can sit up.

He's got two bottom teeth.

He can scootch (is that a word?) around backwards, and has been experimenting with getting up on his hands and knees.

He's eating solids 3 times a day while still nursing every 3 hours, and occasionally enjoying extra meals in the night.

((I'm still a very firm believer in the parent-led method. This kid would rule the roost if I wasn't in charge!))

Oh, how I love this kid. Even in the middle of the night when some undetectable noise wakes him up, he's tossed his pacifier behind his crib, and decided that the world would end if he doesn't get a full feeding as quickly as possible, my heart is so full snuggling him in my arms. I cannot get mad at this adorable dude. 

Many of the little gifts I write down have to do with his tiny self. 

Curious baby blues...

Squishy arms reaching for me...

Snuggles...

Squeals...

Hiccups...

Smiles in the early morning darkness...

Thank You, Father, for the privilege of raising sweet Kempy.

30 Days of Thanksgiving {Day 8}

Thank You, God, for my job.

This is the life.

30 Days of Thanksgiving {Day 7}

Fourth post of the day! I hate doing that, but I really want to keep up with this being thankful thing. It is really helping my attitude, especially today. You know, the day after election day.

Thank You, Precious Jesus, for my Kempy.

Today, Kempton Charles is 3 months old.

With time I only get more desperate to stop time!

I thought for most of my pregnancy that Kempton was a girl. And honestly I struggled a very little bit to connect with him the first day or so. But it's almost like that is what makes us so close now. Somehow.

It does not matter how angry, frustrated, upset, tired, irritated, unhappy I am, this little man makes me smile with ease.

He has been smiling since he entered this depraved world, and started giggling shortly after that. He will always strain to see me if I'm not holding him. He loves his big sibs. He sleeps like a champ.

I absolutely adore this child.

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5a

Family of 5

We love being a family of 5. I mentioned this on facebook, but I felt like elaborating mostly for my own benefit :)

When our first squishy girl made her appearance... wow, there's nothing like becoming a parent for the very first time. You experience emotions that only parents have the blessing of experiencing. That saying becomes overwhelmingly true...

Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com via Derek Lindsay on Pinterest

Our whole world changed drastically and beautifully when this baby girl entered it.

Then came my little man. I could barely see him, I was crying so hard. Love at very first sight. There is something so special between a momma and her boy.

Now we have Tiny Baby Kemp. To preface this... while I was pregnant, I was struggling a little with messing up our "perfect" little family. Why did we feel the need for more kids when we already had our beautiful girl and handsome little man?

Enter this little mister and suddenly we all knew that this family would never be complete without him.

Each new baby brings on a new, intense, overwhelming, beautiful emotion that I'm totally unprepared for. It's amazing. I don't think this family is "complete" yet but for now it is perfect.

If I had it to do again...

 

I can remember the very spot on the big blue tarp that I was hazily staring at when I heard...

"It's a... BOY!"

I was sure I was going to hear GIRL.

So technically I was wrong. But I had been doubting for months. Derek says I wasn't wrong, I knew he was a boy, I just wanted him to be a girl for Derek's sake. He's right. But I stuck with girl because it was my initial thought. 

And my dad was sure he was a girl until he had this random dream a day or two before Kemp was born where he heard the doctor say exactly what he ended up saying... 

"It's a... BOY!"

Do I regret not finding out earlier? No. Not at all. I loved not knowing! It was fun and worth the experience.

Would I do it again... wait til birth to find out the gender? No. Once was enough. And as the next baby will be our last, I will need time to prepare my heart. 

We knew there was potential for this, but thought since we plan on having at least one more babe that it wouldn't be a problem. It was a tiny bit... Derek said, "I feel like we should have Kempton AND Amber. It's like we're missing one." 

I have to admit, it took a couple days to bond with my Kempy. Surgery and nursing pain weren't helping at all, but it was still frustrating. But the last day in the hospital, I spent it alone with my Kempster and fell head over heals in love. It's amazing how much a person can love such a tiny creature who does nothing but eat, sleep, and poop! 

Love my little man.

So in summary, I enjoyed the experience, but in the end I would probably say knowing ahead of time was better. We will definitely be finding out ahead of time with the last baby. Will we tell other people? That is to be determined ;)

The Birth of Kempton Charles

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

We came in. They cut me open.

"It's a... boy!"

Born at 11:39am. 9lbs, 4.8oz. 22 inches.

They sewed me up.

The End.

----------------

There are definitely benefits to having csections.

There may not be much to talk about as far as events, but the emotions involved are huge. The night before my csection for Jack, I was an anxious mess. Very little sleep happened. You know that feeling of overwhelming butterflies, involuntary worry, straight up freaking out? Several days before Kempton arrived I was anticipating a night full of that.

But can I just say, there is NOTHING like having a praying family. My sibs and parents were praying for me. My church family. My Christian family. I fell asleep Monday night completely at peace. It wasn't until about 7am that I started getting anxious, but even then it only took getting out of bed to push past it.

I even did some garden harvesting before leaving the house at about 9am.

Last family of 4 photo.

 The whole experience was quite a bit different than the first two. It was much better and much worse all at the same time. The surgery took much longer, which is better in that I feel the doctor did a very quality job, but worse in that it's just plain not fun being operated on. Also, I could feel tingling in my legs the whole time which made them very antsy but there was nothing I could do about it! But I was able to move more quickly since I didn't have an insane amount of numbing. There were several times I felt very tired and needed to calm myself down so I would close my eyes. I realized quickly that I was scaring Derek. He definitely thought I had passed out at one point.

Speaking of Derek, he totally watched the whole procedure and loved it!

Gross.

So now let's talk about the whole thing about how Kempton was only 9lbs 4.8oz. Yes, many a woman has pushed out a 9 pounder. Geesh, many have gotten much bigger than that out the natural way. But, as I mentioned in this post, I decided I needed to leave the csection/vbac thing completely to the Lord. While I tried to induce labor, God and I had all sorts of conversations about the outcome. Pretty much every time I pulled into the doc office, I said, "God, this is Your thing. Don't let me get in the way of what You want. I know that You know best." Toward the end, we knew our newest addition was not as big as his older sibs but I decided if the little mister ended up 9lbs or bigger, I would be confident in the csection decision.

Thank You, God, that Kemp was at least 9 lbs!

Next, would we do the whole not-finding-out-the-gender thing again? That is a question to be answered in another post. Along with the details of the surprise that we had Kempton rather than Amber!

Patience, my friends.

I'm so in love with our newest little man and his big sibs! It's amazing how much Marie and Jack love him. It took Marie a few hours to warm up but Jack bolted to him as soon as they arrived at the hospital. "Baby mine," he likes to say.

Now they beg to hold him. Jack will wrap his arms around and not let go. Marie tells me to take good care of her brother, tells me not to cry when I cringe during nursing, gives him stuffed animals while he sleeps. It's a dream. We love being a family of 5.